All posts by Todd

Kids these days don't know how good they have it. When i was growing up we didn't have high res 3d graphics, orchestral arrangements, multi button controllers, motion sensing technology, massive story arcs (or stories at all when it comes to it), cut scenes, or even an ending to the game. It was just you versus the dot. And it wasn't even a dot. It was a square that was very small and if you squinted, you could imagine it was a circle. You didn't get anything for beating a level; the game just got harder and faster until you died. Sometimes, you would score enough points to get an extra life. Sometimes. But that just delayed the inevitable by about 20 more seconds. Spoiled little shits today. Anyway, they said write a bio so... I like just about any game. Role playing games are my favorite. I could generally not give two squats about first person shooters or sports games but occasionally I'll get into a two player coop FPS (like borderlands). I also play an inordinate amount of non video games - dungeons and dragons, red dragon inn, cards against humanity, munchkin, evil baby orphanage to name a few. In my free time I can generally be found making up new games to play and testing them on my unsuspecting friends. Most of my friends have refused to play test anymore drinking games. As if they need their liver or something. Pshaw.

Swords and Serpents

rating-9-of-10

I mostly got this game cause I like RPG’s and I loved the cover art. Sadly, that art was nowhere to be seen in the actual game (which is fair for an 8 bit game). Luckily the dungeon crawler RPG aspect made up for it. I may be pushing it a bit giving it a 9/10 but it dungeon crawls well. The only thing I’m not a huge fan of is there is no real… direction for what you are supposed to be doing. If not for online guides, I’d get nowhere. Also it gives you the option to make a party out of any 3 classes (Wizard, Warrior, Thief) but if you don’t pick at least one Wizard you can’t advance the game because some of the “out of combat” spells are required later in the game.

Maniac Mansion

Konami Code FTW

Perfect score if you get the version where Sid can put a hamster in the microwave.

rating-10-of-10

Almost perfect score if you play the censored version.

Either way this game is incredible and we haven’t seen it’s like since it was made. The number of different endings and solutions depending on which team of three you take into the Mansion is mind boggling for an 8-bit game. Just phenomenally well executed and innovative. Plus they got away with sticking a hamster in a microwave, which was pretty ballsy.

Kirby’s Adventure

Konami Code FTW

This is a great example of what Retro Gaming should be. Old school platformer. Unique mechanics. Fun graphics and a cohesive world. For a game that relies on sucking to succeed, it surprisingly doesn’t. Worth buying an old NES and cart just to play it.

RC Pro-Am

rating-8-of-10

This game is jam packed with 32 tracks of fun for… 1 player. Ok, so maybe it would have been better as a multiplayer, but as far as racing games go on the ol’ NES this one is great. I particularly like being able to upgrade your car.  It can get difficult after the first few tracks but it’s still worth playing and passing the controller around during Retro Game Night.

Yoshi

rating-6-of-10

I’ll be damned. Another Yoshi game before the SNES. I guess I was under a rock during my childhood. I swear Yoshi didn’t exist before I used him as a SPAS (Sacrificial Pit Avoidance System). But someone sent me this game and proved me wrong after seeing the Yoshi’s Cookie review.  Anyway, it’s a game…. I’d rate it higher but they set the finish line bar pretty high when they let me ride him then jump off to save my own plumber crack as he falls to his doom.

Millipede

rating-5-of-10

Listen kids, most of you wouldn’t know what end of an NES cart to blow into if it was in a back alley offering you $20. So I really don’t think you’ll understand what it means that they took an arcade game and smushed it down to work on on 8-bit game system. If you do know what I’m talking about, congratulations – You’re old. Point is, this is a pretty good game as far as arcade ports go. If you loved playing in the arcade you’ll love it on the NES. If you hated playing it in the arcade, you’ve always got that back alley job.

Skate or Die

rating-3-of-10

Can’t really say why this one gets 3/10. I guess as a nod to my friends who liked it growing up. I’d probably just call it Skate or Why? As in, “Why in the ever loving fuck am I playing this?” I didn’t like it as a kid but decided to give it another shot. Still don’t like it. Fucking bees.