True story, I only know how to make this game tolerable because my friends and I played the shit out of it when it came out. Turns out the castle is called Castle Garland and we were convinced there was a Final Fantasy 1 easter egg somewhere in it. Spoiler alert – there isn’t.

That said, if you do want to play the game get gud and figure out how to beat the well level (another thing we were convinced was a callback to FF). Once you do beat that level, you get unlimited continues. Not sure why the devs force you through hell to get that (or why it’s not explicitly explained anywhere, we just stumbled into that info…), but it does make the game a decent little platformer. Especially in an age where precise jumping and timing were the norm.