All posts by Todd

Kids these days don't know how good they have it. When i was growing up we didn't have high res 3d graphics, orchestral arrangements, multi button controllers, motion sensing technology, massive story arcs (or stories at all when it comes to it), cut scenes, or even an ending to the game. It was just you versus the dot. And it wasn't even a dot. It was a square that was very small and if you squinted, you could imagine it was a circle. You didn't get anything for beating a level; the game just got harder and faster until you died. Sometimes, you would score enough points to get an extra life. Sometimes. But that just delayed the inevitable by about 20 more seconds. Spoiled little shits today. Anyway, they said write a bio so... I like just about any game. Role playing games are my favorite. I could generally not give two squats about first person shooters or sports games but occasionally I'll get into a two player coop FPS (like borderlands). I also play an inordinate amount of non video games - dungeons and dragons, red dragon inn, cards against humanity, munchkin, evil baby orphanage to name a few. In my free time I can generally be found making up new games to play and testing them on my unsuspecting friends. Most of my friends have refused to play test anymore drinking games. As if they need their liver or something. Pshaw.
NES, Retro Games

Destination Earthstar

rating-2-of-10

This game doesn’t know whether it wants to be a space sim or a side scrolling shooter and manages to fail at both. You might think they should have stuck to one or the other but I think that would have just been worse, if at all possible.  It gets a 2/10 in case you happen to be the type that likes a ball busting shoot em up.

NES, Retro Games

Fester’s Quest

rating-8-of-10

This is another one of those nostalgia titles for me. Brings me back to summers in front of the TV trying to accomplish the impossible. If you pick it up, get yourself an NES advantage with working turbo. It’s a lifesaver. The only real downside to this game is that at a certain point being able to continue from a checkpoint makes the game impossible. When you die you lose weapon power ups and  there are not enough monsters to power up your weapons to the level you need to beat the stage. That said, still a very fun game if you have a game genie or are a better player than I.

NES, Retro Games

Golf

rating-1-of-10

I apparently like to play shitty sports games so you don’t have to. Honestly, I gave it a shot since it’s got Mario and I was curious how far they came from this to Wii Sports Golf. The answer is Lightyears. This is the worst golf game I have ever played. And I’ve played… 2. Counting this one.

NES, Retro Games

Pinball Quest

rating-7-of-10

I did not expect to like this game but I did! Sure the physics are a bit weird but it’s a fun mashup of RPG and pinball that somehow works. The story isn’t winning any awards but what do you want in an 8-bit game? Full disclosure – I didn’t play any of the modes other than RPG so your mileage may vary.

NES, Retro Games

Captain Comic

rating-5-of-10

There’s nothing to special about this platformer. But It’s not bad either. Annoying until you get the gun and the corkscrew. Probably the biggest thing going for it is the blue cart color and the fact that it’s hard to find since it’s not a licensed NES game.

NES, Retro Games

Marble Madness

rating-6-of-10

I hate this game but I also can’t put it down. I think that means it’s good… or I’m just stubborn.

Either way here’s a protip: Bust this baby out at a party when your friends insist they are “good” to drive home.