All posts by Todd

Kids these days don't know how good they have it. When i was growing up we didn't have high res 3d graphics, orchestral arrangements, multi button controllers, motion sensing technology, massive story arcs (or stories at all when it comes to it), cut scenes, or even an ending to the game. It was just you versus the dot. And it wasn't even a dot. It was a square that was very small and if you squinted, you could imagine it was a circle. You didn't get anything for beating a level; the game just got harder and faster until you died. Sometimes, you would score enough points to get an extra life. Sometimes. But that just delayed the inevitable by about 20 more seconds. Spoiled little shits today. Anyway, they said write a bio so... I like just about any game. Role playing games are my favorite. I could generally not give two squats about first person shooters or sports games but occasionally I'll get into a two player coop FPS (like borderlands). I also play an inordinate amount of non video games - dungeons and dragons, red dragon inn, cards against humanity, munchkin, evil baby orphanage to name a few. In my free time I can generally be found making up new games to play and testing them on my unsuspecting friends. Most of my friends have refused to play test anymore drinking games. As if they need their liver or something. Pshaw.
Uncategorized

Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!!

rating-9-of-10

Ok. The 9/10 score is probably more nostagia than anything. That said, this game holds up surprisingly well. The graphics are what you expect from an 8-bit game  and the sound is what it is. The real star though (no, not Mike Tyson), is the fun still to be had in timing and memorizing the patterns and figuring out when to use your uppercuts, dodge, swing left/right, or block. Considering the limits of the NES controller, it’s pretty amazing what they did here. And no, I still can’t beat Iron Mike after all these years. I only new one kid who could. His name was Jason Montgomery and he was a video game savant.

NES, Retro Games

Karate Champ

rating-2-of-10

I remember being a kid and thinking a Karate Kid game would be pretty cool. After playing this game, I regret ever thinking such things. To be fair, I’m sure the devs didn’t set out to please my inner child, but I’m not so sure they weren’t actively trying to bully him either.

NES, Retro Games

Rollergames

rating-8-of-10

Double Dragon meets Rollerskating? What’s not to love??!? Well, besides the controls I mean. They are wonky as fuck and you die a lot when you build up speed. On the upside you get infinite continues. Honestly, give it a go if you’re going for a retro night. There are worse games out there than this little gem. And you don’t get these weird mashup games anymore with AAA titles sucking all the air out of the room.

NES, Retro Games

Wrecking Crew

rating-7-of-10

If you’re looking for a game that is nothing like you might expect after watching Wreck It Ralph, you should play this. For a retro game it’s got some interesting features. It’s sort of a mix of puzzle and Donkey Kong – esque platformer. It’s hard though, like.. really really hard. Use a game genie or be a masochist, your choice. Overall, the real fun comes in being able to create your own levels a-la excite bike. But, like excitebike, don’t plan on saving those creations once you hit the power button. Someone wrecked it by not including a battery pack. Not even Fix it Felix can help you with that.

NES, Retro Games

Roger Clemens’ MVP Baseball

rating-0-of-10

You know what sucks more than baseball? A videogame about baseball. You know what sucks more than that? An NES video game about baseball. I mean, sure, RBI baseball had it’s moments. Unfortunately none of them can be found in this steaming turd pile.

Does anyone know who Roger Clemens is? Does anyone care? Should anyone play this game? Is there anything MVP about it?  Will baseball ever NOT suck? I answer all these questions after the break.

Continue reading Roger Clemens’ MVP Baseball →

NES, Retro Games

Super Spike V’Ball

rating-6-of-10

Let’s just be clear – sports games generally suck. This one… um.. doesn’t? I mean it does, but it sucks because it’s an NES sports game and we’re in 2016. Back in the day this was one of the ones my friends and I played quite a bit. That said, Kings of the Beach was better. Really all this has going for it is you can button mash B to get a super spike or button mash B for defense of a super spike.  Oh… and you can use a 4-score to play 4 players. Good luck finding 4 people who want this kind of pain in today’s gaming world though.

NES, Retro Games

Yoshi’s Cookie

rating-5-of-10

For a retro puzzle game, it’s not bad.  At least it’s not another Tetris clone. There are better ways to spend your time though. The cookie shifting can be a little confusing at first. Really the magic for me was seeing Yoshi in an NES game. My first time seeing Yoshi was in the SNES Super Mario World. I had no idea he had a life before that. Unfortunately, that life involved Mario tossing his cookies.