NES

I'll be damned. Another Yoshi game before the SNES. I guess I was under a rock during my childhood. I swear Yoshi didn't exist before I used him as a SPAS (Sacrificial Pit Avoidance System). But someone sent me this game and proved me wrong after seeing the Yoshi's...

Listen kids, most of you wouldn't know what end of an NES cart to blow into if it was in a back alley offering you $20. So I really don't think you'll understand what it means that they took an arcade game and smushed it down to work on on 8-bit game system. If you do...

Can't really say why this one gets 3/10. I guess as a nod to my friends who liked it growing up. I'd probably just call it Skate or Why? As in, "Why in the ever loving fuck am I playing this?" I didn't like it as a kid but decided to give it another shot. Still don't...

True story, I only know how to make this game tolerable because my friends and I played the shit out of it when it came out. Turns out the castle is called Castle Garland and we were convinced there was a Final Fantasy 1 easter egg somewhere in it. Spoiler alert -...

This game doesn't know whether it wants to be a space sim or a side scrolling shooter and manages to fail at both. You might think they should have stuck to one or the other but I think that would have just been worse, if at all possible.  It gets a 2/10 in case you...

I know what you're asking yourself "How could he give an old NES pinball game a perfect score?!?!" Well just sit right back and listen to my tale... I recently had a party in which 3 very attractive ladies found my retro game room. One of them had a childhood love of...