This game doesn’t know whether it wants to be a space sim or a side scrolling shooter and manages to fail at both. You might think they should have stuck to one or the other but I think that would have just been worse, if at all possible. It gets a 2/10 in case you happen to be the type that likes a ball busting shoot em up.
Pin Bot
I know what you’re asking yourself “How could he give an old NES pinball game a perfect score?!?!” Well just sit right back and listen to my tale…
Fester’s Quest
This is another one of those nostalgia titles for me. Brings me back to summers in front of the TV trying to accomplish the impossible. If you pick it up, get yourself an NES advantage with working turbo. It’s a lifesaver. The only real downside to this game is that at a certain point being able to continue from a checkpoint makes the game impossible. When you die you lose weapon power ups and there are not enough monsters to power up your weapons to the level you need to beat the stage. That said, still a very fun game if you have a game genie or are a better player than I.
Golf
I apparently like to play shitty sports games so you don’t have to. Honestly, I gave it a shot since it’s got Mario and I was curious how far they came from this to Wii Sports Golf. The answer is Lightyears. This is the worst golf game I have ever played. And I’ve played… 2. Counting this one.
Pinball Quest
I did not expect to like this game but I did! Sure the physics are a bit weird but it’s a fun mashup of RPG and pinball that somehow works. The story isn’t winning any awards but what do you want in an 8-bit game? Full disclosure – I didn’t play any of the modes other than RPG so your mileage may vary.
Captain Comic
There’s nothing to special about this platformer. But It’s not bad either. Annoying until you get the gun and the corkscrew. Probably the biggest thing going for it is the blue cart color and the fact that it’s hard to find since it’s not a licensed NES game.
Days of Thunder
Despite being based on a movie, I was going to give this game 2/10. Then I remembered Tom Cruise was in the movie. It’s not as bad if you imagine you’re Ricky Bobby though.
Marble Madness
I hate this game but I also can’t put it down. I think that means it’s good… or I’m just stubborn.
Either way here’s a protip: Bust this baby out at a party when your friends insist they are “good” to drive home.
Jaws
Do. Not. Play. Games. Based. On. Movies.
It gets a 1/10 because one of my friends really likes it. I do not understand why.
Mickey Mousecapade
Recipe for finding your soul mate:
Step 1 – Play this game with a romantic prospect for an hour.
Step 2 – Check to see if you either of you has murdered the other.
Step 3 – If you are both still alive, marry the other person.